I bet you thought I was exaggerating yesterday with my post. No. No, I wish I were. I walked for two blocks on a single street in my neighbourhood snapping photos of Halloween fails. Here they are and here’s how to fix them if you find yourself committing the same offences. Identifying markers have been obscured to protect the tasteless.
What happened here? Seriously, did a giant can of silly string vomit on your lawn after eating Barney the Dinosaur? 1. Spiders do not build webs that are purple or green. 2. Spiders build webs primarily to catch prey. This couldn’t catch a cold from a toddler. 3. LAZY.
Spiders do build giant webs that cover trees. They look like this:
(This lovely little nightmare is courtesy of Geekosystem.)
The fix: You’ve got to stretch the fibres of the web out until they form gauzy, transparent sheets. Otherwise, they don’t look like spiderwebs. They look like really cheap, awful garland that has been through a dog and out the other end. Continue reading “Halloween Hall of Shame”
Stop Failing at Halloween
It has come to my attention that many people in my neighbourhood do not know how to decorate for Halloween. It seems that the only thing most people really know how to do is Christmas.
Folks, stretchable spider web is NOT garland. You don’t wrap it around trees. You don’t string it between things in thick ropes. You don’t put it up in clumps unless you’re making a spider egg sac.
Do not use any colour but white unless you plan to have a blacklight on it. Seriously. It looks stupid. Spider silk is universally white regardless of the type of spider.
I know this is a cheap decoration to buy, but if you’re not planning on using it properly, don’t bother. Take the time to stretch it out like it’s supposed to be or leave it on the shelf and get yourself some streamers.
Yep. I sometimes have this problem with overzealous activist friends. They get hyperfocused on their cause and forget that other people may see the world differently. So here’s a list of things that will and won’t help you win friends and allies. Continue reading “Three Words to Shut Off My Brain”
I often get asked why I hate Rocky Horror Picture Show. A lot of people know how much I love costuming, Halloween, decorating, and musicals and, as such, as soon as October rolls around, the Rocky Horror invites start pouring into my inbox.
I got my first one of the season today so I thought I’d post my contribution to the interesting conversation it sparked. Feel free to discuss as long as you remain respectful about it. Continue reading “I Hate Rocky Horror Picture Show”