Pride and Arrogance

In line with the month of reflection, I’d like to share with you another rule I live by.

When someone gives you a compliment,

take it, and say “thank you.”

Don’t argue, or self-deprecate.

I know it’s often a cultural thing,

but stop doing it.

Understanding your own self-worth

is not arrogance.

The reason why you never feel amazing,

is that you keep defending

society’s mandate of mediocrity.

You are allowed to be awesome.

I do not buy into this whole “humility is a virtue” crap. I do not listen when advertisements or religious officials tell me that I am not good enough as I am. I will not feel ashamed of my talents or my accomplishments; I will take pride in them. That’s not arrogance. That’s a natural reward for doing a good job.

Why is it so hard to take a compliment? Why do we feel compelled to say things like: “Oh, well, actually this dress is kind of old,” or “Yeah, well, the top of the cake kind of cracked. Sorry about that,” or “Eh, well, I guess it was a pretty good test but I really screwed up on the section about thermo-dynamics”?

Don’t excuse away your own excellence. Recognize when you’ve done a good job and accept praise when you receive it.

We Need to Talk

This is not okay:

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(Image credit: Art of LomoNavojo)

Why am I posting this on my work blog? Because it’s an important issue that needs to be discussed.

When is it okay to strip your friend naked in front of strangers or new acquaintances without their consent? Pretty much everyone would agree: never. So why do so many people do it?

I know what you’re thinking. 

“What? This is a thing now? I didn’t hear about this.”

I personally know several people who have had this happen to them and continue to have it happen to them at work, at school, out shopping, at parties, everywhere. It happens to trans people. It should go without saying that what’s in a person’s pants is no one else’s business but it apparently needs to be said. This is a sad state of affairs.

What’s even sadder is that many people don’t even realize what they’ve done and don’t understand why their friend is so upset when it happens. Kindly allow me to remove the mystery.

Continue reading “We Need to Talk”

Three Words to Shut Off My Brain

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Yep.  I sometimes have this problem with overzealous activist friends. They get hyperfocused on their cause and forget that other people may see the world differently. So here’s a list of things that will and won’t  help you win friends and allies. Continue reading “Three Words to Shut Off My Brain”